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Corrosive Shame
Therapy for Life
Too much thinking???
I've just spoilt the point of this post (as much as any post has a point!) to the-other-people-in-Roz's-lounge - aka my bedroom of last night, but of course rather than write for an audience I'm writing this for me anyway so...

I woke up this morning a couple of times laying on the sofa and didn't move. This is not my usual modus operandi - I often bounce up, turn on the TV, or the broadband, or music or whatever - and create noise, distraction and general diversions from actually thinking about, well, anything.

But instead I stayed there - warm and comfy, but without distraction and then started thinking about bits of my life, and people I know. Two things struck me as a result of this process - how little I think anymore in a concentrated, serious way, and is that a good or bad thing.

The way I live my life at the moment can probably best be described as reactive. I see something I like, I go towards it, I see something I don't like - I stay still, and if pushed move away from it. I don't really develop opinions on situations before they happen - I let them happen then get, to a certain degree carried away by them. The use of the word "anymore" above might be a lie actually - I'm not sure I ever have in truth. When I'm either attracted or repelled to a situation/person/food/experience I can then develop great Machiavellian plans as to how to get my way - though in truth they are more "little" than "great".

But is it a good thing? I'm not convinced. Having spent perhaps an hour minutes this morning thinking and playing scenarios in my head I'm not sold on the idea that too much navel gazing is important (and yes - you're right at the back I'm doing it now - but this is to get it out of my system and you're not supposed to have gotten this far) or even sensible. I'm close to being convinced that contemplation leads to worry, worry leads to fear, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to the Dark Side *ear wiggle*.

So that's my scarily (for me) philosophical entry, Written with a pink towel wrapped around my head, occasionally staring at a blinking orange light. The one good thing that has come of this though is one realisation about how someone else might be thinking at times, inspired by a can of WD40. Perhaps I should hang around in Halfords to gain continued positive inspiration for my life.

Oh - but B-Movie was cool. I was disappointed by the lack of air guitar during Paradise City though - thanks to company, host, and crash-space owner especially!

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: Elvis Costello (apparenlty)

2 lies or Lie to me
grendelchild From: grendelchild Date: December 14th, 2002 09:36 am (UTC) (Link)


"I'm close to being convinced that contemplation leads to worry, worry leads to fear, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to the Dark Side"

It does. Trust me on this. I'm a master at contemplating things and slipping down that slidey pole of doom and depression.
winterdrake From: winterdrake Date: December 15th, 2002 11:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Now I'd be the first to admit that I'm the other way around - far too uch contemplation of far too many things, taking up (you guessed it) far too much time, energy and attention. However I think there are probably positives as well as negatives. It can (does? maybe not...) lead to greater understanding. This may be another occassion when I go for the time-honoured (and cop-out?) comment that there's probably an argument for a happy balance...Ahem. I'll stop rambling, now.
2 lies or Lie to me