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Corrosive Shame
Therapy for Life
Relationships and Marketing
A couple of things this weekend have made me think recently, in some cases self-referentially, about relationships - or at least how they start.

First there was the LJ Meme "So tell me what about me makes you envy me", or to paraphrase "Give my ego a little boost because that is one of the (perfectly valid) things I look to my LJ for" and then there was a conversation about ice cream.

There are lots of things that allegedly help start relationships, proximity, awareness, some perception of roughly equal levels of attractiveness - but I got thinking about the marketing aspect "Look at me, want to be me, buy into the concept of me, be part of me by having a relationship with me". Häagen-Dazs are of course the perfect example of this - it's not about "gosh, this ice-cream tastes lovely", it's about "buy this ice-cream and you will have exciting, exotic sensual encounters with the people of the oppostie sex" - the image is being sold, not the physical product.

So, rather than worry about "aggressive sales technique", perhaps a reasonable strategy is to look at yourself, "be happy, be sorted, be relaxed" - then you become a more attractive, enviable lifestyle product... Or if nothing else, you might end up more comfortable anyway.

Rambles aside, as a wise woman said, "Life's a lot simpler when you're a rat.", though I suspect she meant just the furry kind.

Current Mood: cranky cranky

13 lies or Lie to me
(Deleted comment)
From: ex_john_hat807 Date: April 16th, 2005 11:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Actually, I'm going to delete that.
kneeshooter From: kneeshooter Date: April 17th, 2005 10:10 am (UTC) (Link)
You have a point, but I don't agree with it entirely. I won't say anymore though as you've deleted it :-)
From: ex_john_hat807 Date: April 17th, 2005 05:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
grendelchild From: grendelchild Date: April 17th, 2005 12:52 am (UTC) (Link)
So what you're saying is that I need a spin doctor?
kneeshooter From: kneeshooter Date: April 17th, 2005 08:08 am (UTC) (Link)
:-) It wasn't really aimed at anyone in particular, but maybe :-)
kissmeforlonger From: kissmeforlonger Date: April 17th, 2005 02:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Isn't that exactly why just being yourself is so damn hard? Because there's always this 'oh but they might not like me if I'm just me and not glamorous and witty all the time' (etc) insecurity thing, to some degree or other.

Course if you're not happy, sorted and relaxed maybe your marketing technique would be to admit that (after all, marketing is *not* lying) and emphasise the positive aspects. Life is never boring around a stresshead?
kneeshooter From: kneeshooter Date: April 17th, 2005 08:10 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm not sure there's much long term appeal in a stresshead. I know some of the most difficult (relationship) times I've had have been when I was more stressed.

I agree though - the question of "How interesting do I have to appear?" is one that keeps coming up.
kissmeforlonger From: kissmeforlonger Date: April 17th, 2005 05:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Maybe not much long term appeal for you, but some people really like psychodrama, and so would find significant appeal in someone who kept life interesting for them. I am guilty of this myself, in the sense of claiming to want a stable relationship yet mysteriously never really ending up in one. There must be a reason for that surely.

I've just had a thought - there is a whole set of psychological terminology for unhealthy attachments/relationships... are there any for healthy ones?

'Being yourself' is easier said than done!
From: ikkleblacktruck Date: April 17th, 2005 08:06 am (UTC) (Link)
I see the MBA course is already at work...
stelmaria_clg From: stelmaria_clg Date: April 17th, 2005 10:02 am (UTC) (Link)
cookies and cream ;)
kneeshooter From: kneeshooter Date: April 17th, 2005 10:09 am (UTC) (Link)
You know, as soon as I noticed I had an email notification I just ~knew~ both who had made a comment at what it would say. Well, almost anyway - I thought you'd use some Capital Letters :-P
stelmaria_clg From: stelmaria_clg Date: April 17th, 2005 10:21 am (UTC) (Link)
predictable as ever
steer From: steer Date: April 17th, 2005 11:35 am (UTC) (Link)
I think it's quite important not to choose the Haagen-Dazs with cookies in though.
13 lies or Lie to me