Mission: Impossible

First, I give details of a fake journey and cough a lot at the automated response system so it lets me talk to a real person.
Virgin Trains: Sorry, we don't sell those.
Me: But it's for your trains.
Virgin Trains: You need to speak to the station.
Me: Can you give me the number?
Virgin Trains: No, they are ex-directory.

Network Rail: We're the infrastructure operator...
Me: ...but... (over the recorded message, pleading for help)
Network Rail: If you're not sure who that is then phone National Rail Enquiries...
Me: Not on your life...